So you come home after a long day of fighting crime and kicking evil villain arse and all you wanna do is kick back and eat fish fingers and maybe watch some Gossip Girl, but what’s this? When you put on your x-ray specs to see what’s in the fridge, not only is the left lens cracked but you can still see that you’re out of liquid courage and your supplies of instant force-field are all but gone. Not only that, but your favourite cape has an icky stain, and you know how hard it is to clear up kryptonite marks. The final blow? You can’t find a single pair of tights that aren’t laddered. What’s a superhero to do?
Glad you asked. It’s time to visit the Brooklyn Superhero Supply Co.
It’s pretty self-explanatory: if you’re a superhero in need of supplies, this is where you need to be. There are sections for outfitting (where you can pick up tights and capes), secret identity kits (“strive to be boring!”), gadgets and supplies (from tins of bravery to invisible weapons and x-ray specs), maps and more. Awesomely, there’s a cape-testing station where you can trial the aerodynamics of your purchase, surrounded by electric fans.
I loved the public service poster “Stop Sidekick Misuse” (from S.I.S.S.Y – Superheroes in Support of Sidekicks, Yeah!) which had handy tips for not exploiting your right hand man (or woman. Or… creature). For example – don’t practice x-ray vision on your sidekick! Or make your sidekick walk your dog! After all, sidekicks are heroes too!
To make a purchase is the biggest production of all. You must place your items inside a vault, and they are then sent up to the office via ropes and pulleys. Meanwhile, you are required to recite the vow of heroism:
THE VOW OF HEROISM
To be spoken aloud:
I [your full name], also known as [your superhero name], promise always to use my superpowers for good.
I promise that I will use the items I’ve purchased here today safely and in the name of justice.
I promise to remain ever vigilant, ever true.
Cute right? I was happy to play along. But be warned – should you ever find yourself reciting the vow of heroism at the Brooklyn Superhero Supply Co, and you fail to display an appropriate level of gusto, you will be asked to raise your voice so that everyone in the store stops and stares.
The best part of the store is hidden behind a door secreted away behind these shelves:
Yes, like all the movies you loved as a child, you can swing aside the shelves to reveal a hidden room. And it’s here that the real magic happens – 826NYC‘s writing workshops for kids aged 6-18. Because of course, this hilarious store is brought to you by Dave Eggers and co, in the name of improving kids’ lives through the written word. So if you wanna find a great gift for someone or just indulge your inner hero, check out some of the cool stuff online. Just quietly, my birthday’s in a few weeks and I’m particularly partial to the maps…. “Where there is inaccurate mapping, vigilance wanes.”
So what’s your superhero name?