The lego cold war (read instalment 1 and instalment 2 here) has taken a new and unexpectedly phallic turn. At some point between 1.30am and 5.30am this morning, Anna found the above on her doorstep. Sheets of plain A4 paper, wrapped in alfoil that had been painstakingly carved to read “MAKE LOVE NOT WAR FUCKERS”. And as if to illustrate the point, three lego men set into pink, penis-shaped jellies.

Now aside from all the obvious questions – who is it, what is their agenda – what I really want to know is: where on earth do you get a doodle-shaped jelly mould?